No Crying In Baseball

Before we kick off the Boyfriends of 2020, we dabble in boyfriends of long ago and just yesterday.  Patti’s original baseball boyfriend, Omar “Manos de Seda” (hands of silk!) Vizquel, landed a new gig managing Mexico’s Toros de Tijuana, and our HOF campaign progresses in earnest. Pottymouth’s 2019 Orioles BF Jonathan Villar is waived outright by the Os, and instead of emotional support, she gets a vocabulary lesson on the non-tender deadline.  Some friend.

We cheat off the smart kids, er, receive suggestions from experts, on the first batch of baseball boyfriends for 2020.  Pottymouth finds a cosmic connection with Tigers shortstop Willi Castro, while Patti talks tattoos, stitches, and Rule 5 in claiming left fielder Victor Reyes. In Marlin’s world, Pottymouth selects Isan Diaz, 2nd baseman, who homered off both Jacob DeGrom and Noah Syndergaard in his rookie season and caused his dad to become an Internet sensation. Meanwhile, Patti agrees to a blind date with shortstop Miguel Rojas, who had her at “Omar” and kept her with singing mom stories.

Listen for the moment our hearts break and our souls are crushed as we share the news of sportswriter Jonah Keri going from “one of us” to “one of them.”  

Patti sneaks in a second vocabulary lesson, “Player Development Contract” or “PDC” as we continue our discussion of the plan to gut the minor leagues. And then dangles the idea of a road trip to check out as many of the 42 teams on the chopping block as possible.

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