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We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Bandwagon

Part-way through the AL and NL championship rounds, we welcome bandwagon fans. Come on board, we’ll make room for everyone and don’t let anyone tell you you don’t belong. Surprising no one, we are all Nats, All the Time from here on out. Look for us in the nosebleeds.

That F*%#ing Chop

We haven't had a rant like this in a while, so get ready. Pottymouth goes off on that f*%#ing Tomahawk Chop. Everybody was mad at Ronald Acuna Jr. for not one but two instances of admiring a home run and what turned out not to be a home run and Patti explains “The Cardinal Way." All this and more on this episode.

We Say “Groin” Way Too Much

In the calm between the regular season and the start of the postseason, we review, regroup, revile, and rejoice.

Chasing History with Pete, Ronald, and Nick

With one week left in the season, is there enough time for Pete Alonso to break the record for home runs by a rookie? Eugenio Suarez breaks the record for homeruns by a Venezuelan player in the majors, and his Reds teammates attempt the Venezuelan national anthem in celebration. Assholes, administrative leave, and questions abound this week as two more guys made the NCiB never gonna be a boyfriend list.

Holy Crap, it’s the 100th Episode!

So many guys are out for the rest of the season. Some from random and heartbreaking injury, and some from preventable mayhem. The grooming segment is back, celebrating Bo Bichette’s flow, noting Pete Alonso’s mustache, a bad idea coming AND going, and hoping Mike Fiers has learned his lesson screwing with a winning streak via facial hair.

Wilson Ramos stole that base fair and square.

After 3364 plate appearances, Wilson Ramos finally stole a base. Ronald Acuña Jr. stole the very same base to join the 30-30 club. Who gets the base? It’s a boyfriend smackdown. Ketel Marte earns player of the week, Dave Dombrowski gets the boot from the Red Sox and minor league baseball, including Blue Jays prospect Chavez Young, and local junior baseball leagues mobilize disaster relief for the post-Dorian Bahamas.

Christian Yelich Shows Us a Little Something Extra

Christian Yelich just keeps racking up the points as Patti’s Brewer’s boyfriend. Anthony Rendon and Juan Soto hit historic back to back homers. We continue to prove we are terrible at playoff and award predictions, as we perform our final monthly check-in of the regular season. Also, LG electronics is playing host to an international women's baseball tournament in South Korea.

Dammit Hamate

Players Weekend gave us some fashion statements we loved, and some we really didn’t appreciate. Bone issues keep taking our baseball boyfriends and the second woman umpires at home plate for the Little League World Series Championship Game

Put Us in, Paige, we’re Ready to Play

Patti and the Pottymouth may be updating resumes after our conversation with Paige Hegedus, Manager, Special Events and Affiliate Programming for Minor League Baseball.

“When Guys Shirts Come Off…”

All the young dudes, okay, many young dudes, get some attention from Patti and the Pottymouth this week. Our Atlanta Boyfriends, Ronald Acuna Jr. and Ozzie Albies, are tearing it up. Bo Bichette (not Boba Fett), of the Blue Jays, is so shiny we aren’t even talking about Vlad Jr. Patti takes a field trip to the Single A Ironbirds to scout first-round draft pick Adley Rutschman and is not disappointed.

Copa de la Diversión: The Hot Fun Cup

Patti and the Pottymouth finally attend a Copa de la Diversión game with the Cangrejos Fantasmas. Once more, in English: we went to a Bowie Baysox game on a “Fun Cup” day, celebrating Hispanic culture, where the Baysox played as their alter-ego, the Ghost Crabs of the Chesapeake.

It’s always Shark Week with Gerardo Parra

Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing bases and contributing to a historic (in a good way) week for the Orioles.

Gaylord Perry’s Moonshot

Patti and the Pottymouth celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Moon landing by sharing the story of Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry and one of the greatest coincidences in baseball history.

We Actually Rooted for the Yankees

We Actually Rooted for the Yankees! The Pulaski Yankees, that is. Patti and the Pottymouth road-tripped again, this time to Pulaski, VA (as Patti says, go to Roanoke and then keep going).

Party at Napoli’s

Patti and the Pottymouth fangirled in Cleveland over the All-Star Break. Patti cried meeting Omar Vizquel (“I love Omar”) and Pottymouth stammered during the No Crying in Baseball / Mike Napoli sandwich photo.

Don’t Pull a Puig in London

Patti and The Pottymouth are packing their bags for All-Star Weekend in Cleveland, the land of Patti’s birth.

The White Sox and The Nationals are in First Place

Breaking up is hard to do. Cleveland broke up with Leonys Martin, and so must Pottymouth. Patti and the Nationals say goodbye to Trevor Rosenthal, he of the formerly infinite ERA.

Pottymouth Votes for Mike Trout. Because of Weather.

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.

Keuchel and Kimbrel Keep Their Beards

The Nationals do Pride right, but Patti may still write a letter about rainbow jerseys. Big Papi, David Ortiz, heads to Boston for medical care after the shooting in Santa Domingo. Elvis Andrus gets in one more head rub, and a bathrobe, as the Rangers retire Adrian Beltre’s number.

Thoughts, Prayers, and Protective Netting

Is it drafty in here? Pottymouth 1) overviews the MLB draft process in which >1200 high school and college boys get a shot at their dreams, 2) plays the tiny violins for the Orioles yet again, and 3) explains why this is the week Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel will finally get signed.

Barack Obama is the Best Baseball Boyfriend

Former President Barack Obama hits a first-pitch double, completes a touchdown pass, buys organic produce and recognizes greatness in the children attending after-school programs at the Nationals Baseball Academy. Damn, he sets the Baseball Boyfriend bar high.

Ian Kinsler Out-Pottymouths the Pottymouth

Today’s baseball math includes Victor Robles + Matt Grace = Patti, and Patti + Matt Grace = Gerardo Parra. Yes, it is a birthday / no GoT spoilers show.

Gerardo Parra is Our New Best Friend

Pottymouth’s old Dodger BF Kiké Hernandez works some magic for her new BF Justin Turner and Addison Frickin’ Russell is back.

Getting Fancy with the Stats

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome Jenn Rubenstein of @QueerFancyStats to talk using gmLI, wOBA, and spreadsheets in the service of good.

All Flip, No Drill: Standing with Tim Anderson

Patti and The Pottymouth set up the context around the Tim Anderson fracas/ruckus/bruhaha. Can’t ignore that he’s the only African-American player on the White Sox.

Puig Fuels the Fracas

Patti comes This Close to swearing like a sailor when Trump calls off MLB’s agreement with Cuba. Boyfriend Ronald Acuña, Jr. signs a deal for life-changing money, Christian Yelich becomes a spokesmodel for good in the world, and David Price wants to see Mookie Betts’ face everywhere.

Pottymouth Keeps it PG-13

We meet almost-12-yr-old Shalvah Lazarus, from DC Girls Baseball. If her pitching and first base skills are like her passion and poise as an ambassador for the game, opposing teams should fear DC Force.

How many Margaritas can I get for this Chihuahua?

Patti cross-trains for Opening Day by rocking her March Madness bracket. Pottymouth warms up with early morning baseball in Japan (thanks for everything, Ichiro).

MLB Makes Teams Hock Up Their Loogies

Pottymouth is in Ted Williams heaven and Patti wallows at the top of the Misery Index as we kick off the St. Patti’s Day show.

We Say “A-Rod” and “Mets” Way Too Many Times

Daylight Savings Time and breakfast beer render us incapable of avoiding Alex Rodriquez’s engagement to Jennifer Lopez.

Patti Wears her Bryce Harper Shirt for the Last Time

We get past the feels to discuss the bigger picture of Bryce Harper’s record-setting agreement with the Phillies.

#71 - Spring Training for the Pitch Clock Guy

Patti and the Pottymouth bask in the glow of watching our boys in the first spring training games. The dying embers of the hot stove bring us a Machado Free Agency object lesson, and a soft landing for Mike Moustakas.

#70 - Pottymouth Just Keeps Apologizing

In just one episode, Pottymouth apologizes to Carlos Asuaje, C.C. Sabathia, and Francisco Cervelli, and says “interpretive dance” and “papiamentu” while Patti condones inspirational quotes and uses “Cutie Pie” in a sports context.

#69 - Patti Wants to Pick a Fight

Frank Robinson was a hero to your NCiB hosts, for Cleveland, for Baltimore, for Washington, and for Puerto Rico. RIP, Frank.

#68 - You Had Me at Baby Dahl

Patti and the Pottymouth enjoy a civilized baseball conversation just hours before the football screaming begins.

#67 - Butts and Biceps

NCiB is killing it with the Winter League picks, but will Venezuelan political upheaval cancel the Caribbean Series?

#66 - Babe Ruth, Deion Sanders, Thor and Loki

In her continuing quest to encourage the watching of winter baseball, Pottymouth teaches Patti Spanish baseball words.

#65 - Pottymouth finds a Dream Job

Yasmani Grandal puts a spark to the hot stove, and Kyler Murray brings back memories of Bo Jackson and Dieon Sanders.

#64 - Redemption

Today’s vocabulary word is “cazatalentos” as MLB scouts visit the Cuba finals for the first time.

#63 - We Warned You, Sabathia

We can’t completely shake our Dominican infielder boyfriend rut, but we add the Dad factor.

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