Where the F*ck is Toro?
Stop touching your face. It would be irresponsible not to discuss the intersection of the coronavirus and baseball, so we do. As a public service we share CDC information about how facial hair affects one’s ability to safely wear a respirator. After some soul-searching, Patti and the Pottymouth go ahead with Houston Asterisk boyfriends, but limit themselves to guys who did not play on the 2017 team.
Stop touching your face. It would be irresponsible not to discuss the intersection of the coronavirus and baseball, so we do. Games have not yet been affected, but some teams are requiring players at Spring Training to pre-sign baseballs and cards under controlled conditions in the clubhouse, to be distributed to fans, rather than sharing pens and passing objects back and forth. Clean club houses and chartered planes will protect young, healthy players, but good luck finding 6’ of space between fans on Opening Day. As a public service we share CDC information about how facial hair affects one’s ability to safely wear a respirator. Hint: The Yankees, like cockroaches, will live on, while Dallas Keuchel and Justin Turner will have to adapt to survive.
Patti may already be down one starting-lineup boyfriend as Oscar Mercado is day-to-day. But forever boyfriend Christian Yelich is now a Brewer for Life, still an excellent chugger of beer, and needs to work on his free throws. Pottymouth ex Yoan Moncada extends with the White Sox, and NCiB favorite Collin McHugh goes to the Red Sox and lets loose with the remorse. Any day where we can talk Big Sexy Bartolo Colon is a good day.
After some soul-searching, Patti and the Pottymouth go ahead with Houston Asterisk boyfriends, but limit themselves to guys who did not play on the 2017 team. Patti selects Abraham Toro, he of the three languages and hero of the Verlander no-no. Pottymouth introduces Jeremy Joan Peña, who is so distanced from he scandal he may not even get to the show this year. The Angels loss is Patti’s gain as Joc Pederson stays a Dodger and makes Patti’s list. Pottymouth doth protest too much with her Max Muncy pick, but she can go get that out of the ocean.
It’s time for NCiB’s Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League! Contact us via social media if you want to play rotisserie fantasy ball, following our boyfriend rules for players. The draft begins immediately after Patti and the Pottymouth release their starting lineups on the March 17th episode. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.
