Pottymouth Votes for Mike Trout. Because of Weather.

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.

Patti can totally get enough of home runs, however. The pace is scary, and too much of a good thing is boring. The ball is juiced and she can prove it with just one statistic. Baseball science. Er, math.  

Pottymouth’s David Ortiz update includes mystery and intrigue, a surprisingly affordable hit, a great deal of relief, and apparently no HIPAA regulations in the Dominican Republic.

Continuing the tradition of rock-solid logic in All-Star picks, Pottymouth selects Mike Trout specifically so he can explain why it rained when it wasn’t supposed to at the Nats game last Thursday. She picks Tommy Pham for his pottymouth (whereas Patti picks him for the much classier slamming of Tampa Bay fans), and actually selects a Baltimore Oriole, Trey Mancini, for his hype video. Hell did freeze over just then. Patti adds Michael Brantley, and also last year’s Twins BF Byron Buxton because this year he is actually awesome.

Over in the NL, Patti and Pottymouth agree on Christian Yelich and Cody Bellinger, while Pottymouth adds hometown BF Juan Soto and Patti roots for most-improved Scott Kingery.

Pottymouth goes with JD Martinez in the “DH” category, which Patti firmly believes is not a real thing. When pressed to pick someone anyway, she goes with Hunter Pence, mainly because he hit a ridiculous inside the park homer at Fenway.

The Girls Baseball Breakthrough Series happened this weekend. This may be the pipeline we’ve been looking for.

And Obi-Sean Kenobi is the best bobblehead in the galaxy.
Copyright 2019 Junto Media