Rum is the Death of Us

Alyssa Nakken does her job and history is made. Alec Bohm is a pottymouth, Ke'Bryan Hayes gets beer money, and we take Albert Pujols very personally. We say “fragile masculinity issues,” “when does it stop being weird?” and “I vote for hoodwinking.”
Alyssa Nakken makes history again while just doing her job adjacent to an “unfortunate racist incident” as we remind you that there’s a reason unwritten rules aren’t written. Alec Bohm makes 1) Patti’s Phillies prediction come true early and 2) Pottymouth feel right at home. Ke’Bryan Hayes rakes in the beer money while Heliot Ramos settles for a cup of coffee. Joe Maddon sends Corey Seager on a surprising walk. 

Patti takes Albert Pujols’ announcement of his decision to divorce his wife days after her brain tumor surgery very personally and Pottymouth sends his shirt to the thrift store in solidarity. MLB’s Trailblazer series in Vero, Florida hosts 11-13 year old girls from 25 states plus these places that are not states: Puerto Rico, Washington, DC, and Canada. Roki Sasaki has faced 52 batters without giving up a hit, leading us to ponder which is more important – the potential perfect game, or preserving the streak? 

 Mark “We’ll never sell the Nationals” Lerner announces that the ownership group is exploring selling the Nationals. Patti is concerned about agreeing with Buck Showalter. NCiB encourages you to Adopt a Minor Leaguer, since all the cool kids are doing it. We say “fragile masculinity issues,” “when does it stop being weird?” and “I vote for hoodwinking.”

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